Taless from the Zebra Herd: Colin Urmom

Of all the days from my childhood, the day that I stopped riding a bicycle and started skating stands out more than most. I was 10 years old and lived across from what is now a luxurious neighborhood, but at the time it was a woodsy and maze-like forest that all the kids biked in. I slashed my tire on a rock that day. I walked my bike home, put my skates on, and went skating. I never replaced the tire or bought another bike, and instead skated everywhere. Of course when I was a kid I didn’t dream of growing up and becoming a referee for a women’s roller derby league, but you never know what a hobby can turn into.

I moved to the Norfolk area about five months ago and after a few months of boredom, I started looking for things to do in the area. I had recently been to a derby bout in the Providence area and told myself that I wanted to someday, somehow be a part of a derby league. I found the Dominion Derby Girls and after talking to The Ruffian via emails about becoming a ref, I came out to practice. It was daunting coming out to practice. I must have debated for half-an-hour in my apartment before I showed up the first time. Not knowing anyone in the league or really anything about the sport seemed like a huge disadvantage, “But, what the hell,” I told myself. The team was very kind (which surprised me at first because I thought that roller derby chicks were supposed to be hard asses. I later found out that the DDG is a bunch of bad asses, but are very friendly at first.), and told me that they really needed refs and any help I could give would be appreciated. I saw what these women were about, how much effort they put into practices and decided to stick around as a ref. I came to a few more practices determined to learn more about the sport. Once I got all my equipment together, I laced up my skates…and busted my ass! It was a good laugh, but once the motion came back I didn’t want to stop. I started skating with the team and working on my technique during the hitting drills. (Guys don’t participate in the contact drills.) Now, all week I look forward to practice…except Sunday mornings!

Being a ref means more than skating for lengthy periods of time. I had no idea how much physical effort goes into roller derby or what I have to put forth physically and mentally as a ref. Granted the refs don’t take the contact, but they skate for the entire bout. I still have a lot of work to do before I will be able to skate for at least sixty minutes. You can’t just go out there and sing some song in your head while you skate around. You have to be able to make calls and skate in a small, enclosed circle. You have to be focused at all times and on the ready for any stray derby-ers that might happen to tumble in your direction. You have to be able to take 20 or more crazed women screaming at you for a bad call.

I am a recreation professional and am drawn to new and interesting recreational opportunities. Sure baseball is fun and I love football, but it doesn’t interest me anymore. Now when you hear “Roller Derby,” what do you think? Exactly! “What is it and I want to see it in action,” is what went through my head when I heard about it. Since becoming a ref for the DDG, derby is something that I find myself always thinking about. Not because of the women with tattoos or the brutal body checks, but because of the endless passion these ladies have for their sport. You don’t find this passion in normal recreation activities, and that is why I am here. This isn’t a come-once-a-week-and-sit-on-the-bench-and-chat type of activity. Women’s Roller Derby is a recreation revolution and I am proud to be a part of it.

So, don’t think you have to know someone or something about the sport to be a part of this league. From the deep and meaningful words of Tenacious Steve, “Don’t hate, PARTICIPATE.”

Derby Tripping: Charm City

The other night, I was emailing Juju from the Atlanta Rollergirls about a hook up for some roller girl housing in Savannah. She then reminded me that Atlanta was playing Charm City the next night. Charm City Roller Girls (ranked 4th in East) were hosting a double hitter that night; one against Harrisburg Area Roller Derby the other against Atlanta’s Dirty South Derby Girls, both unranked. I decided that morning as I was brushing my teeth that I was going to road trip it! Too short of notice to gather anyone from the rest of the league, I packed an overnight bag and headed out right after the morning practice. My stupid GPS took me a weird way through the Eastern Shore so that a trip that should’ve been about 4-5 hours lasted more like six. After hunting around for a legal parking space for a half hour, I gave that up and finally found an illegal one just a block away, just in time for the opening of the doors.

The Arena where the event was taking place looked like it was originally designed as an indoor soccer facility with a clear, plastic partition around green AstroTurf and bleachers behind the side with the partition. On top of the AstroTurf, Charm City had a sport court laid for this event. The team’s benches were on the side opposite of the partition.

I arrived to Charm City and HARD warming up on the track. After grabbing a PBR and a cookie, I staked my claim around turn two and settled in. I could tell HARD wasn’t used to skating on the sport court surface because they were sliding and falling all over the place. They looked like dogs that are trying to run and turn on a linoleum floor. Charm City, on the other hand, were flying by on the outside of the track and talking to fans. I ran into a friend of mine from HARD, Plenty O’Toole, and proceeded to chat with her for awhile. She ended up sitting next to me for the duration of her team’s bout which was good cause it’s always good to have someone to talk derby to during a bout.
Harrisburg was Charm City’s first opponent. Charm City took an early lead and kept a hold of that lead for the duration of the bout. Looking at the line-ups, HARD just looked so small in the physical size of their girls compared to the members of Charm City who looked more like softball or football players! CCRG used their size to their advantage by dishing out some strategic hits against the HARD jammers. HARD also had to battle the front wall of CCRG’s Dolly Rocket and Joy Collision. Joy Collision has a beautiful way of just stepping in front of an opponent instead of crouching or doing any other Ku Fu-like methods. The HARD girls were tenacious though and put up a good fight with some good jams by Nash Villian and Mother Trucker. Unfortunately, they couldn’t overtake CCRG’s powerhouse line-up. Final score 143-62 Charm City.

Next up, Atlanta. While watching the HARD bout, every so often I would take a look at the expressions on the Atlanta girl’s faces. Needless to say, they weren’t joyful. The previous bout’s score did not deter Atlanta from coming up to the lines and bringing it. The first half looked like Atlanta was trying to figure out how CCRG played and how the team played with each other. Ineffective strategic plays kept Atlanta from scoring and gave CCRG a huge advantage. By the end of the first half, the score was very lopsided with CCRG holding the bigger chunk of the points. The second half brought a more cohesive Atlanta team back on the track. Blockers like Amelia Scareheart, Queen Loosyateetha, and SK8 Outta Compton stepped up and delivered some big blocks to CCRG’s jammers and started using WFTDA rules against them as well. Big jams from Demi Gore, Juju and Thunder Enlightening brought some much needed points to the board to lessen the gap. Though CCRG had bouted right before this bout, ATL still could not break CCRG’s formidable defense. Final score 128-78 Charm City.

After the bout, I headed down to the track and congratulated Atlanta and which ever CCRG girl I could find on a very athletic and entertaining bout. Confirming that my car was still in the place I’d left it, I followed some “shady characters” with bout programs in their back pockets to the after party which was a few blocks down and in an office building lobby. There would’ve been no way I could have found it myself. I grabbed a pint of Yuengling and waited around for some of the skaters to show up; eying the buffet but keeping away all the while. No sooner after I’d gone to get another pint did the Atlanta people show up. Even though I was the lone Dominion Derby Girl there, and even though we’re playing them in May, and even though I’d gone to scope out the competition, almost every girl and even some of the refs came up to me and started chatting. I gave Juju my new beer and as I was trying to leave, she wouldn’t let me until she bought me a brew and I had to sit and chew the fat until the beer was gone. I didn’t mind in the least though because that girl and the rest of the league was so funny and nice I almost felt like family. I spent so much time with the Atlanta people that I really didn’t get to socialize with the other two teams. By the time Charm City arrived and the dancing started, I had to depart to crash at a friend’s casa and I didn’t want to show up there at three in the morning. Trekked it back to the car, texted my friend for directions, turned on the GPS, and hit the road; warm and fuzzy and more in love with Roller Derby than ever.

Coaches Corner: Volume 1 – Falling

Volume One: Falling

The most important thing we teach in Roller Derby is how to fall, and how to fall properly. Falling is the first thing you learn and something that you will continue to do (that’s right, fall!) until your last day on skates.

Sweet N. Lowdown, a recently retired skater from our league, said this about falling:
“An overlooked aspect of derby is what goes on in the mind. Timidity causes skaters to lose focus and they tend to get injured (or re-injured) more often. Gaining confidence usually begins with the self-knowledge that you are a safe skater on the track. Learning to fall safely is the beginning of building this confidence. If you are a confident skater who knows how to fall instinctively, your falls shouldn’t result in injury. Plus, knowing in your own head that you’ve gotten falling down will make you SO much more confident that you’ll feel free to push yourself to try new things in your regular skating. You’ll try to jump higher, for example, because you know that even if you don’t land it, you know how to fall properly and won’t get hurt if you do happen to fall. Roller derby is a team sport built on TRUST. Learn to honestly trust yourself and your teammates will do the same on the track. Your jammer will use you as the go-to-girl for a skirt-whip or your blocker will give you a good push in the ass to clear the pack, all with the full knowledge that you know what you’re doing and you are safe. Falling is the crux of confidence, which is the crux of trust – it is essential for building a true TEAM.”

There are four types of falls we teach, Single Knee fall, Double Knee fall, 180 Degree fall, and Figure Four fall, also known as the Baseball Slide. There is a fifth fall we are beginning to teach called the Four Point fall, but we’ve lovingly named it The Asian Fall Down after a retired Dominion skater named Asian Chow Down, who claimed this fall as her trademark.

Frankendoll, a current coach for our league, said, “Since learning to walk, people naturally fight the instinct to fall for fear of getting hurt, but Roller Derby will reprogram the mind/body to fall in proper form to keep from getting hurt when a fall becomes imminent.”

This is just a summary of what we do and why we do it. This is not meant to be a teaching aide, so don’t go trying any funny stuff unless you’re fully geared up and under the watchful eye of a trained coach.

* The first fall I want to talk about is the Single Knee Fall. This fall is the most commonly used fall, and also the most controlled and quickest of all the taught falls. A skater would use this fall to regain balance instead of stumbling around. I like to teach this as a swipe on the floor with your knee pad. This fall mimics a lunge. I also tell the ladies if you had paint on your knee pad I want to see a “brush stoke” rather than a “blob” left on the rink floor. You must also use the opposite thigh to power your body back to the upright position. These require quick graze on the ground and a quick recovery. Another thing with this fall is that your hand should never touch the floor. It’s all thigh fuel.

* Another important fall we learn is the Double Knee Fall. Since the skater will be in *ahem* derby stance (squatting like your peeing over a bar toilet…) already, falling forward onto bent knees shouldn’t be a knee jerker. This fall is taught one knee then the other so you’re not jostling all of your guts, but its more like “boom, boom,” with your knees together. Once your knees have hit the floor you want to be leaning back…picture an 80’s metal power slide. That’s the kinda positioning you want to achieve. We want everyone to make sure they do not sit on their wheels though… ‘cause its painful. To get up from this fall you would use the forward momentum you have just gained to simply pop up one leg then the other. The WFTDA minimum skills states you have three seconds to recover from this fall.

* My personal favorite is the 180 Degree Fall. This fall isn’t commonly used in pack play but more when a skater is out of bounds and need to correct their direction quickly to avoid the audience or simply their direction. The basics of this fall are almost identical to the single knee fall with starting almost from a lunge but you don’t graze you knee on the floor, you turn on it. You are allowed to use your hand as a pivot on the floor, but you must be careful not to get your fingers run over. Most skaters make a fist to pivot on. A good thing to remember is whatever knee you go down in is the direction you spin to. If my left knee is down, I will spin to the left. Otherwise I end up stumbling over my own body making it awkward. The recovery from this fall is the easiest since both feet end up in a runner stance, you simply get up, and sprint like a runner.

* Another basic fall we teach is the Figure Four Fall or Baseball Slide. This fall is used a lot with loss of balance or when you are knocked out of bounds and you’re all the way on the floor. The big thing with this fall is the ability to “Fall Small,” which means all limbs are not sprawled out and are close to the body. When you do this fall it begins as one knee fall but your opposite leg tucks behind your knee that’s on the ground…like you’re sliding into home. After your leg tucks behind your butt hitting the ground comes next. Most skaters use the side of their hip to roll off of instead of landing flat on their tailbone. Then you again use the forward momentum and your core muscles you have to up yourself back into a skating position.

* The last fall we are beginning to teach is the Four Point Fall. This fall is also very important that you “fall small,” because flying limbs cause people to trip and can cause serious harm to other skaters. The point of this fall is to save face when you’re falling forward with speed. The natural reaction is to put your arms out, but we all know that’s how you break them. During this fall you will be placing your forearms on the ground approximately the same time as you do a double knee fall. Hence four point, two arms and two knees. If done correctly you will slide for a foot or two before you jump into a runner stance and boogie out of it.

Those are the most basic falls you will see during game play although there are many different variations of each of these falls. I do encourage, you the reader, to come check out a practice and see if all this fun, excitement, and being a part of the coolest sport ever is something that you’d like to do. We have awesome coaches that will help you at what ever beginner level you may be. We will even teach you how to skate. Roller derby changes lives for the better and there are over 10,000 roller girls in the USA right now that will agree.

Hope to see you on the track soon!
T.Rex Ya Face, Head Coach, Dominion Derby Girls

Tales From the Fresh Meat Locker: Peggy

Being possibly a few weeks from my evals, it’s hard NOT to look back at the past few months. Thinking back to where it all started, I’d have to say that the Navy was overall responsible for my derby obsession. Being in the military is hard enough, but being a nuclear trained mechanic is enough to make a person lose their mind (and I know this from having personally seen quite a few friends and colleagues be discharged for emotional instability). Not terribly long ago, I’d been regularly seeing our Psych, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Without getting all personal and crazy, he basically said that I NEEDED to find something for ME. Something that I’ll love to do, that can be mine, and that I didn’t copy or take from someone else. Something that can help me escape from my nerves/anxiety/emotions and relieve my stress. As if the angels heard his words, the NEXT DAY Zanna messaged me on Myspace. “Derby?” I’m thinking. “This stuff is for real?” If you’ve ever had a “feeling” about something, you know what was sitting in the pit of my stomach, BEGGING me to check it out.

photo: Nieto Photography

photo: Media Unlucky

League Member & Fresh Meat of the Month – March 2009

League Member of the Month – Thunder Lips

photo: Glen McClure