Derby Tripping: ECE – Pretty Skate Machine

Photo by: Justin Hankins

So it took me three years. And I still didn’t skate, but I finally made it to Philly for ECE. You see, the first year they had it in March – no go for work. Everyone headed north while I sat in front of a computer screen wondering what they were all doing while I was stuck at home. Second go around I was ready and willing! Even if I had to take days without pay I was going to skate in ECE dammit! But alas, this time I laid flat on my stomach, wrapped tight, barely able to breathe due to my broken ribs. Ah, the luck of the draw usually sucks for me. Murphy’s law,  I suppose. Here we are at 2009, and YET AGAIN I sit staring into space wanting to be in the hot stinky van with a bunch of overly caffeinated derby girls. But apparently getting knocked up sort of curtails your ability to skate in bouts.I had been sidelined since mid January, looking forward to the reprieve that October will bring with the birth of a derby spawn and the ability to return to skates. Don’t get me wrong; I have been a coach for a few years now, on and off skates. But it’s just not the same as being in the game.

I was up at 7:30 Friday morning. Coffee, coco krispies. . . It’s 8 now. The girls will be in Norfolk packing the vans. 8:30 .. .  I can almost hear Ruffian yelling “Lets get a move on ladies! We are running behind!” Followed by the clatter and chatter of half awake derby girls, wondering and asking if they were going to stop for coffee, and if so, when. I steer my gaze away from the morning news to look down at my ever rounding belly and ask the little one inside “You do know that you will hear about this EVERY time you want to do something for at least 18 years right?” I nod off with thoughts of what I would do if I was in Philly and I was skating. .

The phone rings -  10:30. It’s Frankendoll. We already knew T Rex wouldn’t be bench coaching due to travel restrictions during late pregnancy, and Princess America so graciously stepped up in addition to her bouts with Carolina to help call our roster. But now, Hofosho has the flu! “We need a bench coach, Skate, do you think you can get to Philly?” That’s all the push I needed. I told Frankendoll I’d call her back, and immediately got on the phone with the derby widow.

I ask.  He knows how badly I want to go, but he’s not real happy with me traveling in my “delicate condition.” Hmm . . .  but this is why I married him: 20 minutes into the conversation he says “Book the hotel.” He was getting off at lunch and we were both headed to Philly! A quick check in with Frankendoll, Ruffian, and Thunderlips and my bag was packed. 3pm: Skate Machine is on the road north.

We arrive around 9 and get checked in. Food! I need food and sleep ..  Meeting with the captains at 7:30 in the morning, bout at 11.

After cursing the alarm, shower and my one cup of coffee that I’m allowed (boo!) I wander down a floor and find the room the captains will be in. Last minute changes and worries cause a rush of excitement and I spend an hour calming down and figuring out what we need and send the captains off to get ready and be with the team. It all works out and after breakfast with Candy Liver, Frankendoll and Big Fun (spending time with those 3 is an entire blog in itself) we make it to the Sportsplex just in time for me to scramble with some VERY last minute changes and everyone hits the track.

I scream for 2 hours. We didn’t win, but the girls fought hard. I was sweating as much as they were and I was on the sidelines. When it’s all over, they all deserve a break and we go on to watch a few bouts and support our lil sisters, the River City Rollergirls, in a challenge bout. I finish my day with Frankendoll, the Hubby and Dairy Queen. Until the next meeting with the captains at 9pm. This one lasted until around 1am and ended up with a completely different approach to our roster.

The Machine in Action

8am Sunday. Up and at ‘em! Bout at 12:30. Morning routine and meet with captains and team. Maybe this time I can get the rush out BEFORE I get to the ‘Plex. For the most part I did, although we almost ran late due to Frankendoll stopping on the way insisting on helping what we thought was a baby beaver cross the road. Much to our surprise it was a muskrat and after screaming MUSKRAT at it really loud from the car it ran off into the woods. Satisfied that a car wouldn’t squish it, we u-turned and headed back toward the Sportsplex. Apparently there are an unlimited number of times for a GPS to scream at you “RECALCULATING!”  But after about 3, Frankendoll threatens to throw it out the window.

The Sunday bout went about the same as Saturday, score wise. Again, not a win for us, but they fought hard and we learned a lot. I still believe we brought back a different group of skaters than we arrived with. And that’s a good thing. We were working with many fresher skaters (some only on their first or second bout) and at least 2 injured veterans. Then Frankendoll took a really hard hit, followed by having her neck rolled over. This ended with a quick trip to the ER and a diagnosis of a mid-grade concussion and whiplash.

After the Sunday bout, the worser half was waiting outside in the car to head home. With work in the morning and both the Hubby and I being exhausted, we needed to get home. I won’t even go into the delirium that ensued right around the Maryland border but I was laughing so hard I was in tears and almost had to pull over. We still have no idea why. I don’t think he even remembers work Monday. Zombie state took over. And my voice just has begun to return.

All in all, despite the stress, it was a wonderful trip. Everyone played there hardest and everyone got home safe. I’m proud of us. And hopefully next year I can go again.

ON SKATES.

2 Comments

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  By Tara, October 22, 2009 @ 1:57 am

  w00t! Great piece!

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  By The Ruffian, October 24, 2009 @ 9:25 pm

  It was awesome having you on the sidelines with us! And I so wish I had been in the car for the muskrat incident!

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